The Never-ending Thread

[larchmont]

Originally Posted by johnej

Larch, dream'n that your a texan again huh (y'all)?

Not a bad dream -- had some not-too-bad times in Texas, y'all!

[TSX 'R' US]

RECTUM STRETCHER

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

To which she replied, "I'm late for work." "Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?" I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded. The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.

"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Traffic Ticket $95.00
Court Costs. $45.00
The Look on Cop's Face............... PRICELESS

[larchmont]

Risking getting shot: Maybe not that much.

[TSX 'R' US]

This was in email format so one or two of those may sound weird...



You know you're living in 2004 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.

7. You make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line.

8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.

10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.

11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.

12. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.

13. Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of the screen.

14. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

15. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

16. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

17. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

18. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

19. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

20. You actually scrolled back up to check t hat there wasn't a #9 on this list.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

[larchmont]

Nice get, TRU!

Originally Posted by TSX 'R' US

....4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

That's nothing! I just read about how some people might be on the cell phone with each other while they're trying to meet up.....and they stay on the phone together even after they meet up.

....14. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

You got it.

[TSX 'R' US]

Hehe..I used to AIM my friend across the hall from my room in college

[pocketkiller]

yea I aim the person 10 feet away from me in the next cube.

[TSX 'R' US]

I've AIMed the person I'm talking on the phone with as well...

[johnej]

I have done the following, aimed phoned and emailed the same person within minutes. How about having a two way pager cell phone, laptop, and pda all within reach....

Man sometimes i wish being connected was not like it is......

[Cyde]

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

That is so true!!!
my family
1. dad's cell#1
2. dad's cell#2
3. mom's cell
4. My room/office phone
5. my cell
6. my onine vmail
7. store#1 phone1
8. store#1 phone2/or fax
9. store#2 phone1
10. store#2 phone2/or fax
11. store#3 phone1
12. store#3 phone2/or fax
13. home phone
14. home phone2/fax
15. my second home phone(gf's house)

16. my gf's cell, ( but this dosen't count)

[TSX 'R' US]

Originally Posted by Cyde

That is so true!!!
my family
1. dad's cell#1
2. dad's cell#2
3. mom's cell
4. My room/office phone
5. my cell
6. my onine vmail
7. store#1 phone1
8. store#1 phone2/or fax
9. store#2 phone1
10. store#2 phone2/or fax
11. store#3 phone1
12. store#3 phone2/or fax
13. home phone
14. home phone2/fax
15. my second home phone(gf's house)

16. my gf's cell, ( but this dosen't count)

[TSX 'R' US]

The pweor of the hmuan mnid
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch codnutced at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are tpyed, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit oedrer. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

[robert_tg]

ah ! you're giving me a frigging headache !

[228]

Originally Posted by TSX 'R' US

The pweor of the hmuan mnid
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch codnutced at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are tpyed, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit oedrer. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

o.....i dont hv problem with reading ur post....

[johnej]

I did not have any issues either, but then again UNIX is just like that also......